Jun 10, 2021

Funny Messages To Write In A Birthday Card

Whether you are a carefree kid or making your way up – and over – that hill, birthday greetings are always appreciated.

Even better, most people are expecting upbeat messages and a few laughs. That makes a personalised birthday card an excellent joke delivery system – especially when paired with a thoughtful gift.

Here are a few funny birthday message suggestions for different recipients.

Where you see "...", the message can also be split up on the front and inside of a folded birthday card.

Funny Birthday Messages to Send to Anyone

It can be tricky finding the right “tone” for a birthday joke, especially if you don’t know the recipient that well. You can ask mutual friends for hints or keep the humour vague — general ageing or “didn’t get you a gift” type of humour, for example.

  • Happy Birthday to someone lucky enough to know me!
  • Well, you're one year older... Congratulations, I guess?
  • So it's your birthday – as if today revolves around you... Alright, I'll give you that one, today only.
  • Happy Birthday! Hope this one's the best one yet... Well, at least better than last year's.
  • They say that giving is better than receiving... so shouldn't YOU be getting ME a birthday gift? Oh well. Happy Birthday anyway.
  • Congratulations on being one year older!... Jury's still out on whether you are also one year wiser.
  • They say some things get better with age... You must be practically perfect, then! Happy Birthday!
  • I tried to count up how many birthdays you've had before this... but I have never been good at math. Sorry.
  • Thank you SO much for having a birthday!... It was about time we had a reason to get another cake. You can have some, too.

Funny Birthday Messages for a Friend

You probably know the person well enough to add some personal details about past experiences and memories, the inclusion of which would make the message more meaningful to your friend. If you expect a broad audience — for example, if you will be in a group and your card might get passed around — you may want to keep it to the “you’re so lucky to have me” and “ageing sucks” kind of humour.

  • Happy Birthday from the very best birthday gift anyone could receive... You're so lucky to have me. You're welcome.
  • Happy Birthday to someone I'd help to hide the body... Although this year, we should maybe think of a different way to celebrate?
  • You are so precious to me... Again, I am offering to test your birthday cake to make sure it isn't poisoned!
  • Bestie, you and I are so close, your birthday practically feels like my birthday... So where is MY gift then?!
  • You and I have been through thick and thin... It's called yo-yo dieting. We might as well just enjoy the darn birthday cake, then.
  • Happy Birthday to someone I'm so glad is in my life... You make me look reeeeeeeally good, so thanks!
  • Dearest, you don't need a photo filter... you can just say you're using an ageing app! Happy Birthday!
  • Here's a good reason to count your blessings... If you counted up your birthdays, it would take forever.
  • It's your birthday, but you don't have to act your age... It's not like you do on any other day of the year!
  • Age is just a number... said everyone who's ever gotten ridiculously old. Happy Birthday.
  • Happy Birthday to a friend who truly appreciates the good things in life... Like me. Totally me.

Funny Birthday Messages for Mum

You can really have fun with birthday messages for mum, especially if you are making light of the bond between parent and child — facetiously turning the tables and suggesting that your mum owes you for some perceived good behaviour, for instance.

  • Happiest of birthdays to the best mum... I've [or we've] ever had. You really are incomparable in that regard!
  • Happy Birthday to a mum who seems to do everything perfectly the first time... I'm living proof of that! [from an only child]
  • Happy Birthday to you, Mum, from all of us... Although to be frank, my birthday wishes are the most sincere! [from one of 2+ siblings]
  • We know you love us all equally... So for your birthday, no one expects you to admit that I'm really your favourite! [from one of 2+ siblings]
  • Fun fact: a child's love for their mum is inversely proportional to how amazing the birthday gift is... so I got you this card. You're welcome!
  • Dear Mum. Thank you for feeding us, comforting us, and changing our diapers when we were young... We're still trying to agree on which of us returns the favour. Happy Birthday in the meantime! [from one of 2+ siblings]
  • Mum: Nothing I could give you for your birthday would come close to how much you have done for me... so I didn't bother. Happy Birthday!
  • Happy Birthday to a totally hot mum... Eventually those hot flashes will stop, don't worry!
  • Happy Birthday, Mum! Did you know that an elephant mum's labour lasts an average of 36 hours?... I didn't do that to you. You are so welcome!
  • Thank you for not following through with your threat to tell Dad about all the horrible things we did as kids, Mum. Happy Birthday!
  • Dear Mum. Thanks for taking better care of us than we did with our pets... and — let's be honest — for taking care of the pets as well. Have a spectacular birthday!

Funny Birthday Messages for Dad

If you have a cool dad, you can really go “below the belt,” if you will. Jokes that play upon learning his mistakes rather than inheriting his strengths can be entertaining. Of course, making fun of getting old never gets, well, old.

  • Dear Dad. There is nothing in the world that is better than being a role model — exemplifying intelligence, wit, resourcefulness, and strength of character... I am honoured to be yours. Happy Birthday!
  • Happy Birthday to a dad who taught me how to be smart with my money... Many have called it "cheap," but what do THEY know?! Here's a birthday card.
  • Happy Birthday to a man who has it all: smarts, wits, and good looks... Oh wait, that's me. Happy Birthday anyway! [from son]
  • Dear Dad, thanks for teaching me to measure twice and cut once... then cuss, measure again, trim, and pretend that's the size you wanted to begin with. Happy Birthday!
  • Happy Birthday, Dad! I'm not going to drone on about how wonderfully handsome, talented, and brilliant you are... since you're going to do that anyway. Love you!
  • Dad, thanks for teaching me the value of hard work and perseverance... All your hard work and perseverance has allowed me to be a bum, and I really appreciate it!
  • I've decided not to make fun of your age this year, Dad... You're at the point where it just wouldn't be funny anymore!
  • My birthday gift to you is directly proportional to how much pocket money you used to give me... Enjoy the card, Dad.
  • I've always been able to ask you the hard life questions, Dad... like how old you were when humans discovered fire. Happy Birthday.
  • Dad, it's clear that I got my good looks and sparkling wit from you... I just didn't think I'd leave you with nothing. Happy Birthday — and sorry!
  • Happy Birthday, Dad! Just think: all the times I embarrassed you when I was a kid... was just preparing you for how I continue to embarrass you as an adult!
  • Dad: the fact that we remembered your birthday proves that you were pathetic for forgetting Mum's. Don't worry. We still have your back!

Funny Birthday Messages for Your Sister

With sisters, you are practically expected to be cheeky! Bringing up silly disagreements or perceived rivalries can make for some poignant humour.

  • Happy Birthday to my favourite little sister... I'm sure if there had been another one, you'd still be my favourite!
  • Dearest Sister, remember all the silly little arguments and tantrums we had growing up?... You're still the one who was wrong, but I've grown up enough to put that behind me. Happy Birthday!
  • Sister, I have a confession to make. You once made me so mad, I wanted to hurt you so badly... So this year, I got the most amazing birthday gift and kept it for myself. Enjoy the card!
  • Dearest Sister, you have always supported me and made me look good... by standing next to me. Please don't stop. Happy Birthday!
  • You and I were destined to be sisters... I don't know what I did wrong in my past life, but it must have been pretty bad. Happy Birthday anyway!
  • Little Sister, I'm sorry for telling you that we found you in a garbage bin when we were young... You were BESIDE the bin, not in it. Thought I'd clear that up. Happy Birthday!
  • You inspire me... to be a better person than you. Thankfully, it's not hard. Happy Birthday!
  • This birthday, you don't have to watch your girlish figure... it was gone LONG time ago. Might as well eat the cake!
  • Dearest Sister, I hope that this birthday, you will be able to have your cake and eat it, too... I mean, what's the point of even having cake if you're not going to eat it?!
  • Big Sister, when I was growing up, I wanted to be just like you... Thankfully, I grew out of that very quickly and have become someone important! Happy Birthday!

Funny Birthday Messages for Your Brother

It’s practically no holds barred with most brothers. Pointing out your superiority as a sibling may be in order!

  • Happy Birthday to my Big Brother! I've looked up to you all my life... but now that I'm taller than you, it's YOUR turn!
  • They say that life is the greatest gift one can give... Seeing as I let you live, Little Brother, Happy Birthday! You're welcome!
  • Dearest Brother. I want you to remember that it's the thought that counts... I thought of buying you a Porsche, briefly. Happy Birthday!
  • Brother, you taught me the most important lesson about life... that someone can be hopelessly average, OK looking, and moderately functional and STILL make it. Thanks so much! Happy Birthday!
  • Happy Birthday to a brother I thought was the absolute best growing up... My therapist has since shown me the error of my ways, but I love you anyway!
  • They say that with age comes maturity, success, and wisdom... I guess that's another thing "they" got wrong! Happy Birthday, though!
  • Don't worry about old-age memory loss... You've done so many stupid things, it would be a blessing, frankly! Happy Birthday!
  • Happy Birthday to Mum and Dad's little accident!
  • Dear Brother, never forget the important place you have in my life... Last place, as always! Happy Birthday!
  • Brother, you taught me an important lesson when I was a kid... Apparently, you can be a wanker and still go far in life. Happy Birthday, and thanks!

Funny Birthday Messages for Your Significant Other

  • Birthdays are excellent occasions to show your love to your partner by reminding them how lucky they are to have you — in a tongue-in-cheek way, of course! Naughty jokes are also fun — we’ll leave those up to you!
  • Happy Birthday to someone who never has to worry about signing a prenup...You don't really have anything I want, but I love you anyway.
  • Every year, it gets harder and harder to shop for your birthday... so instead of wasting my time, I'd just spend more of it with you today. You're welcome!
  • My love, you are the most knowledgeable person I know... I guess it helps that you were alive for so much of human history! Happy Birthday!
  • Happy Birthday to a man with the body of a god... Buddha. Buddha totally counts.
  • Remember when we talked about growing old together?... I don't appreciate your running head start. Happy Birthday!
  • For your birthday, I'm going to make your dreams come true... if your dreams involve doing nothing.
  • The truly blessed find someone who loves them despite all their flaws... You are welcome. Happy Birthday.
  • It's your birthday. I've searched high and low for my perfect match... You are close enough.
  • Happy Birthday, Darling! It seems like yesterday when we met and fell in love... I think your old-age memory loss is rubbing off on me.
  • Sweetheart, you may feel old, forgotten, and unaccomplished, but... you know, I'm not sure where I'm going with this, but I'm here for you. Happy Birthday.
  • If there's one thing good about birthdays, it's that you can really let yourself go... I mean, you've already been doing it for years, Honey.
  • Happy Birthday to someone I love as much as myself... and I love myself a lot. You know, because I'm a narcissist and all.
  • One day, you and I will look back on this birthday, smile, and think... "My God. I didn't think it was possible to get even older than that. Glad we kept the life insurance."

A Flowercard Is the Perfect Way to Say Happy Birthday

Whether it's for a family member or someone else, infusing your birthday wishes with humour provides an extra gift of laughter. Flowercards with personalised, funny messages offer the very best of two birthday worlds: giving the recipient a good chuckle as well as a beautiful, miniature floral arrangement to brighten up their room and their special day.

Browse our stunning array of birthday designs and give the birthday person something as special and unique as they are.